Being turned on by someone is not always a clear indicator that it’s a green light. There are actually many times we will feel turned on (ie. yoni tingles, shiver up the spine, heat in the belly, fantasies about all night sex-capades, hearing wedding bells ringing and babies crying) and it may be a caution signal to run in the oppostie direction, rather than to get naked and frisky.
Our body is our compass and will show us the way home, Yes! The universe, sometimes known as “The Trickster,” will also test and tease us when in the midst of up-leveling, transitioning and evolving to see how much of our entire selves we are integrating in the process.
I know you crave a deeper connection than good sex. If you are anything like me, and the thousands of sisters I have the honor of supporting, you crave heart, soul, mind, body blown open yum yum alignment with ALL of you! Am I right?
Let me ask you this, have you settled before?
Well then, the universe is most likely testing you and asking, “Are you going to settle again?”
If you take the bait, you will clearly need some more roadblocks, in the form of tests, before you get to your dream destination.
If you can see through the test, pat yourself on the ass and proclaim from the rooftops “TAKE THAT UNIVERSE, I PASSED THE TEST!” Now you get that giddy feeling, that deeper turn on of your soul churning with pride and excitement that you are one giant leap closer to aligning with your truest desires.
Sometimes, turn on means he has a key for you. Your body will spark when you meet someone who matches your wounds or soul’s evolution in some way (any way really). Your yoni will let you know that she is sensing something that you need to pay attention to. If your senses are attuned to pleasure, then this is how she will alert you.
They may have a message or a healing for you. He may connect you with your next business venture or introduce you to the band that welcomes your rare trombone talents or opens your mind to a new idea or entices the muse out of you to write poetry that has been on your heart for many more moons than you can remember. He may make you feel alive, sexy and wise. He may remind you of your ex (this is the most common) and offer you a code to heal that past relationship in a really loving way. This especially shows up if you didn’t have proper closure with any of your previous partners. It also shows up when we are holding some of our ex inside of us. The next in line shows up quickly showing characteristics of your last partner with a touch of the stuff you wish you ex would have done. For example, the new guy is similar to your ex but speaks the same love language as you, shows up on time engaged and present, loves vegan cafes and yoga classes as much as you do or has a taste for adventure and pushing your edges in just the right places.
There are plenty of ways to engage deeply and intimately and not sexually. Yes, it’s true and it is its own art. Learning the art of opening while remaining healthy and discerning boundaries is possible, empowering and liberating! It’s especially challenging when there is a sexual charge felt by both.
I remember when I moved to Hawaii, I LOVED ecstatic dance, it was my medicine in every way! I was in between relationships and practicing celibacy as a chance to up-level and totally heal the past bond. My beautiful man friend was always in awe of my ability to open fully, dance wildly with everyone, make love on the dance floor then step off the dance floor, close my energy field and go about my way. He used to call me the “most prude wild woman he ever met,” and it was a great compliment to my mastering this art of opening with healthy boundaries.
Is it karmic or dharmic?
Is this connection going to create more grooves in your ancestral traps or will it pave a new way to create your own personal heaven on earth? The grooves in our psyche are deep paths that we unconsciously walk every single day, re: your habits, stories and addictions that run the majority of your waking life. Click here for a deep dive into clearing old energies and lovers from your mind, body and spirit.
Karma is a Sanskrit word that essentially sums up all of your actions from all of your lifetimes, creating a kind of imprint for the lessons in this lifetime. In the context of this share, it asks, “is their ancestral baggage playing out?” Something in your lineage or his lineage that is attempting to heal through the connection. The universe will play on repeat the patterns of our past, way past, until someone in the line shifts it. You have many ways to journey with this one, here are the two conscious options.
Option ‘I’m gonna go for it’: Dive in! Go through it with eyes wide open, feel all the stuff. Anchor forgiveness, return to love and appreciate your ancestors. Once on the other side you make a pact to shift the bloodline karma and fiercely walk forward blazing a new path. This takes a brave soul, willing to feel the ancestral density. One who wishes to use her body and her heart to transmute energy – an alchemist. This is a skill that takes a lot of practice, awareness and discipline. This is a path of the Ancient Priestesses of Isis and the lineage of Mary Magdalene. This path is one of initiation and feeling a whole dang lot!
Option ‘I’m gonna walk another road’: Journey slowly and with awareness. Ask a lot of deep questions and find ways of connection that don’t involve tangling the sheets. Keep spaciousness so you don’t lose yourself and make non-negotiable self-care nights to keep you focused on your inner work. Make a firm decision to keep your skirt down and talk openly with him about your process and feeling. Have sisters that will keep you in check, ones that really care about your evolution. Create a new story before you get too deep. Remain aware of the energies wanting to play out and the emotions that come up while around him. If there is any thread of “the energy was just too intense to say no,” it’s most likely a really big lesson for you. If he is truly ‘the one’ he will be patient with you while you create clarity.
Which brings me to Dharma, or the Sanskrit word that essentially points to your true calling or sacred soul work. In this context, I’m referring to your Divine other.
I promise you this: the slower you enter, the deeper you go.
This has been my tried and true mantra for over a decade. It’s been walked by thousands of women and even tantric celebs have reported back to me the medicine of this embodiment.
If both parties (you and mr. turn on) consent around sharing play and pleasure with no stories or strings attached that is a beautiful gift too. Make sure you have constant checks with yourself and your fantasies of him wanting to marry you even after he told you point blank “I am focused fully on my work right now and am in no way looking for a relationship” or “I just got out of a very long, deep connection and need some space to return to myself.”
He will show you exactly who he is from the very beginning.
So please sister, pay attention!
No matter what path you choose you will learn amazing lessons and continue on your epic journey through life. I’m only giving you some insight to make it a bit easier and a lot more playful. Once I learned and integrated these lessons, it’s been my joy to turn around and shine the light on a path you may not have even realized was there.
Most importantly, remember, the choice is yours. You are in control of your emotions and actions and are being pulled by energies and stories that go much deeper than you are at times aware of. If you feel that turn on, amazing, relish in it, dance in it, create from it!
Bring your yoni in alignment with your heart and see what the message is there for you. Stay with your breath and remain inside your body.
To circulate the Shakti (Divine Feminine life force energy aka turn on) through your heart, follow my favorite tips to massage your breasts here.
Reach out for support, I’m here for you.
from my grateful heart to yours,
xxAlila
*I speak in very heterosexual language because that’s where I’m at, please feel welcomed to switch out any pronouns so the content resonates and speaks to you.
