Orgasms that Transform your Life vs. Orgasms that Deplete It.

Orgasms contain within them powerful, life-creating and transformative energy. WIthin each orgasm is an explosion of Shakti, or divine femine life-force potential. Shakti is the energy that creates worlds, and destroys them. 

Your orgasms are laced with this same energy, to create your world… or destroy it. 

There are *many* forms of orgasms, and not all orgasms are created equal. Some orgasms have this life-transforming energy potential and other orgasms will actually deplete your system. 

According to the Ancient Tao, our orgasmic energy can be used for self-healing and awakening our circuitry. When we become more skilled with our sexual energy, we learn how to ride the shakti snake to nourish our entire body and extend this energy outward to offer our soul-encoded wisdom to the world. 

As pleasure and tantra becomes more and more popular in our collective, we hear everywhere that orgams will change your life. I was recently in a container with a very well-known sex coach and when my trauma came up and I brought it to her, she simply said, “just go have more orgasms.” 

So, let’s just say orgasms are not a one size fits all. 

Not only are there so many ways to get to the euphoric mountain peaks, there are also our different biologies, life-experiences and trauma to take into consideration when creating your exclusive orgasmic prescription.

Yes, there is a personalized dose and direction that needs to be further distilled before we blindly drink the medicine of “just go have more orgasms!”

Let’s unpack it. Below are a series of questions and threads for you to journey down. I recommend grabbing your journal and seeing what’s alive for you.

1. What’s your current relationship with orgasms? 

Do you have orgasms? By yourself or with a partner? Perhaps you have never experienced an orgasm and this whole movement sends you hiding under your covers frightened.  You must first take into consideration your current connection with your orgasmic nature before you scale the mountain.

Do you have trauma stored in your cells that still needs to be addressed? Are you addicted to your vibrator and clitorial orgasms to go to sleep at night? Yes, clitoral orgasms release a strong hit of dopamine and a quick flash of ecstatic hormones that then sends you tumbling back down the mountain, seeking your next momentary view from the ‘top.’ 

Once you have a good, and by good, I mean honest, idea of where you are currently oriented towards orgasms, then we can move forward. 

2. What’s the primary energy or intention when you orgasm? 

So you have having some kind of orgasms, or pleasurable stimulation. What is the intention before, during or after this happens? Are you thinking about your to-do list while you vibrate your clit to butterfly bliss? Are you fantasizing about the hottie in line at the cafe this morning?

I’m getting at two primary things here. 

꩜ Are you in your body? 

To be in your body means you are feeling every sensation and tracking every breath. It means you are not in your head thinking about any other thing you need to do or place you need to go. You are fully present, in the moment, inside your body.

Being inside your body is really challenging for most people as we were taught to look outside our bodies for answers and success. Most of us were also taught to override our body in order to get more done and even as a meditation practice to mentally push past sensation. 

It’s important that while you are experiencing pleasure that you continue to breathe deeply, all the way down into your belly and remain aware of the sensations you are feeling. If you notice yourself in your head, pause and bring yourself back. Most of the time, you will drift into head space when sensation feels like too much, too unfamiliar or you hit a trauma edge. (more about all this soon!)

꩜ Are you in your prayer? 

If prayer is too heavy of a word for you, let’s stick with intention. Sexual energy is the most powerful life-force, and it’s really important that you give it a direction to go, or else it ends up spilling out of you like toxic drainage. This is one of the most important foundations of taking your orgasms from mediocre to utterly transformational. 

I remember my first yoga teacher used to say, “the difference between gymnastics and yoga is the intention moving through your body and the breath that directs it.” 

Before you move into self-pleasure or partnered play, take a moment to set an intention. You can take a few breaths, bring one hand to your heart and one hand to your belly and feel into that direction you wish your life to go.

Imagine it in the view of your 3rd eye, feel the excitement, expansion and gratitude of it happening in your body, and let your pleasure flow from here. You will notice an immense difference in the way you move sexual energy, just by this simple practice of shifting your focus. 

During orgasmic peaks, you can gently bring your awareness back to your intention or prayer. (a little taste of sex magik 101 for you 😉)

3. What kinds of orgasms are you having? 

Yes there are a multiple variety of orgasms you can experience, and I’m not going to clarify them all here. What I am going to clarify is goal-oriented vs moment-oriented orgasms. 

Goal-oriented orgasms are exactly as they sound, with a goal in mind, and all of the energy is focused on meeting or making that goal. This is usually clitorial orgasms, as they are the most readily available, vibrator and out-of-body accessible. 

Then there are moment-oriented orgasms, and this actually has nothing to do with the orgasms themselves. Instead, this invites a drop into the pleasure and sensations that are available to us in the moment. There is no goal and there is no true beginning or end. When we shift into moment-orientation, everything slows down and becomes juicier. Sensations last longer, pleasure becomes a state of being versus a quick flickering of vaginal sneezes and life-transformational orgasms become possible.  

In moment-orientation, there may be no traditional ‘orgasms’ and there may be multi-orgasmic states of bliss that last for hours. This is also the field where we can release stuck emotions, memories and stories from our cells.

When there is no goal, there is a deeper trust and allowance of the divine energies to move through us. 

When there is a powerful, heart-centered intention behind this present-centric practice, well, you have yourself the container to make worlds, break worlds, and become worlds. 

⥥ Comment Below:: How do you feel most ready to shift your relationship with orgasms? ⥥

I’m here for you, to take you alllll the way. 

Reach out if you’re ready for a transformational journey of a life-time and definitely claim my FREE 3 day pleasure activation sequence while it’s still available. 

With post-orgasmic inspiration, 

xxAlila